unwriting prewritten words

The mind. Wrapping around itself.
The existence of being surrounded by being.
An ocean containing a river. Already underwater.
Who’s streams flow together and a passerby would not know where the river started and the ocean ended except that the ever present current would drag you in faster than you could begin to ask the question, “can I tell which water is more dangerous?”
The ocean. The mind.
Stuck in obedience to the rules self created.
New rules not yet rewritten in body or soul.

One would say to try again.

We could say it’s a forever failed plan.
To rewrite. To paint over the canvas, to delete the file,
to white wash the stained walls, to pack up and move on,
to be put in witness protection… from our trauma and past
to forget “the plan” by learning again.
Who we are.
Who we now realize we were always meant to be.

Search…

Everything is so much colder when the stars are out.
But everything’s so much clearer.
Everything is so much darker when clouds cover the night sky.
But everything’s so much warmer.

Is there some version of better that we are always searching for?
There are always pros and cons. This or thats. Rights and wrongs. 
The answers we search for controlling our lives.
The search. Controlling our lives.

Is there a perfect middle between the stars and clouds?
Is the search never ending?
Are we all in a never ending system of leveling up and down?
Is discovering this need to search enough to satisfy the need for searching?

Training Wheels

I watch as the tires spin.
I watch your face as you grin.
You ride away from me so fast.
Your new ideas seem rash.
But here I am left on the ground
Here I’m left. Not even a sound
Do I make
While you pedal and brake.
 
I choke on the dust
as I try to choke back the tears.
You left me back
I’m no longer of use after all of these years.
You found your freedom.
What’s left of me is gone.
I coalesce my feelings
Into a box called “healing.”
 
 
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Originally written 1-24-17
 
If you are interested in a musical version of the poem…